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#: 1807

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05:08:40 PM

17/11/2017

I never drink water because of the

I never drink water because of the
disgusting things that
fish do in it.

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#: 1806

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05:08:07 PM

17/11/2017

Moderation is a virtue only in

Moderation is a virtue only in
those who are thought to have an
alternative.

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#: 1805

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05:07:40 PM

17/11/2017

Television has brought back

Television has brought back
murder into the home -
where it belongs.

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#: 1804

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05:07:18 PM

17/11/2017

A lot of newspaper columns used to be

A lot of newspaper columns used to be
written in a rat-a-tat-tat, fast-paced style - and
they tended to be funny. They were a little relief from
the grimmer, grayer parts of the newspaper, and
one of the best people at doing this
was Will Rogers.

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#: 1803

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05:06:27 PM

17/11/2017

The funny thing is that my husband

The funny thing is that my husband
couldn't be sweeter. He looks like this bad boy.
He's got tattoos and earrings and a mohawk,
but when you talk to him and he's around
you, he's such a gentleman. He holds doors for
ladies. He pulls out chairs.
He cooks. He cleans.

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#: 1802

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05:05:29 PM

17/11/2017

I'm like old wine. They don't

I'm like old wine. They don't
bring me out very often - but
I'm well preserved.

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#: 1801

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05:05:04 PM

17/11/2017

People say that life is the

People say that life is the
thing, but I prefer
reading.

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#: 1800

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05:04:35 PM

17/11/2017

The next time you have a

The next time you have a
thought... let it go.

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#: 1799

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05:04:15 PM

17/11/2017

He looks as though

He looks as though
he's been weaned on a
pickle.

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#: 1798

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05:03:44 PM

17/11/2017

I like children

I like children
- fried.

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